Bringing home a new baby is a joyful, life-changing experience—but it often comes with a serious lack of sleep. For many new parents, sleepless nights quickly become the norm, leaving them physically drained, emotionally overwhelmed, and mentally foggy. Sleep deprivation isn’t just a rite of passage—it’s a real health concern that can impact everything from mood and memory to immune function and relationships. 

Here, Kathleen Gallagher, manager of Pulmonology and Sleep Medicine at Riverside Healthcare, discusses why new parents are so prone to running on empty, what the science says about sleep and recovery, and practical strategies to reclaim rest without compromising care.

Why Sleep Is So Important

Adults typically need 7.5-8 hours of sleep for essential brain functions like emotional regulation, memory consolidation, and physical healing. These needs don’t change just because a new baby enters the picture. If anything, they become more critical. Yet, both pregnant women and new parents often fall short on sleep, with some joking that the sleep loss during pregnancy is "practice" for what's to come. Still, adequate rest remains vital for mental and emotional well-being, especially during the demanding newborn stage.

“We really worry about sleep in order to heal. As moms, our bodies need to heal after having a baby,” states Gallagher. “Even without a newborn, we're just not at our best when we don't get enough sleep. When you add on that extra added responsibility and sleep deprivation, it can really wreak havoc on people and partners.”

Partner Support: Finding the Best Balance

Gallagher encourages partners to be open and communicative about what they really need in terms of support. Coordinating sleep as new parents requires teamwork and flexibility. Taking shifts or designating separate sleep nights in another room can help one partner get uninterrupted rest—especially when one parent is nursing. 

Each family will need to find what works best for them, whether it’s weekday routines or weekend support. The key is communication and being willing to ask for help, even from sources beyond one’s partner if needed.

Sleep When the Baby Sleeps

Babies follow their own unpredictable sleep patterns, especially in the first few months. A 2021 study from the National Institutes of Health found that, on average, new mothers get about 62 minutes less sleep per night during the first three months, while fathers report only 13 minutes less—likely reflecting the unequal division of nighttime caregiving. Despite the challenges, the common advice still holds: Sleep when the baby sleeps.

“When the baby takes a nap, you think, ‘Oh, I have to do the laundry, make sure dinner gets made, vacuum, clean, dust.’ I know we want to hold our newborns. But, it's okay to put them down because this is the opportunity to actually go take a rest,” urges Gallagher. 

Strategies to Mitigate Sleep Deprivation

Preparing for sleep deprivation starts with honest conversations and proactive planning. New parents should discuss how to share responsibilities—whether it's splitting night shifts or handling household tasks—to allow for much-needed rest. Keeping a sleep diary can help identify habits that cut into sleep time, like excessive screen use or late-night conversations, and provide insight for better routines. 

It's also important to manage caffeine and alcohol intake, as these can interfere with the ability to rest, even during naps. Simple practices like breathing exercises or guided meditations can support relaxation. Sleep and mental health are closely connected, and ongoing sleep deprivation can contribute to frustration, emotional exhaustion, and even postpartum depression. Taking care of yourself—emotionally and physically—is essential, not just for your own well-being, but also for your ability to care for your baby.

“I think we are our own worst enemies when it comes to sleep overall,” cautions Gallagher. “It's really just adding that extra challenge, and then what role you are going to play in making sure you get that support. Maybe your mom comes over, or you have a great neighbor who can help, or if you have a friend who has a baby perhaps you can trade. ‘I'll watch your kid while you sleep’ and vice versa.”

Anxiety Is Expected—But There Are Ways to Manage It

It's natural for new parents to feel anxious, especially about whether their baby is safe while sleeping. Keeping the baby in a bassinet nearby can provide peace of mind. The good news is that newborns sleep often—again, making it an ideal time for parents to rest too. As time goes on, parents begin to recognize their baby’s cues for hunger, comfort, and sleep, which can ease anxiety. 

Babies also spend a lot of time in active dream sleep, which includes noises, small cries, and sudden movements. Swaddling can help prevent them from startling themselves awake. Ultimately, learning to trust that your baby is okay—and giving yourself permission to rest—is key to getting through the early weeks.

“It's okay to listen to see if they're really waking up or they just making noises. As a parent, you inherently know these things anyway, so you just kind of learn what the cues are,” assures Gallagher.

When Is It Time to Seek Professional Help?

If sleep deprivation persists, it may be time to seek support. Sleep coaches can help parents adjust their schedules, develop healthier sleep habits, and stay accountable. In some cases, the issue may be more than just a lack of time—consulting a sleep specialist can help identify underlying problems that may be affecting sleep quality.

“Maybe you do have a sleep disorder that needs to be addressed. We know anybody can have existing snoring issues or sleep apnea or something like that. If that's not part of the issue, it's definitely a reason to talk to your provider,” advises Gallagher.

For more information about Sleep Medicine at Riverside click here,